Many years ago, I attempted to become an actor.  And when I tried to act like something outside of myself, it felt ingenuine, it felt surreal and not natural for an otherwise stoic person like myself to perform.  It wasn't me in an authentic sense of the word, but it was another part of me in what would become yet another attempt at being something other than myself. The encouragement to act came from my brief career as a professional car salesman, and the natural ease that I found in mirroring the behavior of others.  It was never intended as a scam, or as a deceptive practice of any type, but once you get to know people, and become familiar with the trove of personality types that you'll come across in a retail setting, you begin to imagine your work as more creative than it may be.  I mean, a creative salesperson must be into some type of gimmicks, right? Somewhere back there , in the formative years of, say, 2003 – 2006, I decided to give it a try with a local acting c...

Before we go much further I wanted to update everyone on my involvement with the various intelligence agencies, and why I'm disappointed in their approach towards me. As some of you know I was a Marine Security Guard from 1996 – 1998 and served in a variety of posts overseas.  During that time, and throughout my 4 ½ years serving on active duty, I was challenged on what to do with my career choices.  While I had achieved my goals of successfully completing Marine Corps bootcamp, and was active in continuing my education while on active duty, I really didn't know what I wanted to do with my time in service.  Of course, with a deactivated Military Occupational Specialty , and no job to return to after my time spent overseas, I literally had my choice of military fields to enter into, if I were to reenlist. While this is a topic that I'm not entirely comfortable sharing, the Marine Security Guard is involved in nearly every aspect of a diplomatic mission , and is traine...

Sitting with Shamanism I've been wondering what to do with this for awhile now. How do I practice zazen with my spiritual ancestors?  The correct answer, the one you've all been waiting for, is you don't.  You sit with silence, you sit with breathing and you sit with the knowledge and experience knowing that all things fade away, once you're tuned into your breathing.  In and out.  Soft and slow.  Flickering thoughts like a moth to the limelight. With time, you may find that thoughts continual arise and a point of attachment comes to mind.  Not necessarily an emotional attachment, as one might expect, but rather an intellectual attachment to an idea or concept that possibly fuels your spiritual practice.  In this case, mine is shamanism, or the conscious effort of working with our spiritual allies to bring about change, here, in this waking reality.  Shamanism, as practiced outside of an indigenous culture, will often include the shamanic journey as an entry poi...

A few weeks ago I had a discussion with a local Rōshi.  In this discussion, he asked, among other things, if I had participated in any koan study. A pause, a brief moment of stillness, and I replied: “Well, not formally.  I've read through and studied koans on my own, but not yet within a formal setting.” Over the following days I began chewing on this great question, and how it had applied to my life without zen in the years from 2008 – 2013.  Then a quiet voice within me began to whisper: “You did the Genjōkōan with Daido online.”  I know it's been awhile since I've shared myself online, but this is how it began prior to Daido's death in 2009.  We worked together around the time Obama was elected in bringing this about, and we worked together in a way whereas I became intimately known to the senior monastics of his practice. The Faceless Face The Open Sky poem and the businesses that followed is what I'm best known for, and while this is not a writi...